Adaptation me

If there’s one word to describe what I’ve been going through since Nigel died nearly six years ago, it’s this: Adaptation. I’ve had to learn or re-learn how to do everything Nigel did for us, and I also had to relearn how to be a me, not half of a we. I’ve about all of that over the past few years, and it’s certainly an ongoing process. Recently, however, I realised there are some specific examples showing how all this has progressed, how I’m adapting to my reality.

The image at right is a screenshot of a Facebook “Memory” from 2021 (which I also mentioned here on the blog). It’s about how I regained ownership of the Internet domain Nigel got for our email, but that I accidentally lost in June 2021. It was the biggest personal setback I’d had since Nigel died, and it was hugely painful. Getting the domain back, and the email accounts up and running again, mattered so very much to me.

All of which resurfaced recently when the company that hosts the email service contacted me to say they were retiring the server I was using, and I’d need to upgrade. At the time, it was too much for me to deal with (something that has recurred frequently since Nigel’s death). More recently, I got notice that it was time to renew my service, and I was going to so that the first chance I got, but they rang me first.

I renewed my account for three years, partly because there are always discounts for making longer commitments for their services, and because that meant I wouldn’t have to deal with it for three years. I renewed and gave them the go ahead to migrate all my email to the new server. That was all finished within a couple hours.

When they were done, they sent me the settings for the new server, and I updated my settings on my desktop Mac, and also on my iPad and iPhone. However, the emails for that account have’t worked on either my tablet or phone since 2021 when I lost the former service. Now, however, the address work on all my devices. Nigel made sure they all worked, then they didn’t because he wasn’t there too look after our tech, and now it works again.

This week, I bought a new stick vac. The one I had been using was a Dyson that Nigel bought at least ten years ago from a retailer, paying roughly half price (from memory, it was an an old model—V2?—and the retailer was getting rid of old models). It was really useful at the last house because it had stairs and the stick vac was much easier to use to vacuum them than the canister vacuum was.

After I moved here, the powerhead attachment for the canister vacuum broke in a spot that wasn’t repairable. So, I had to use the non-motorised floor attachment, or the Dyson, which is what I was using—right up until it wouldn’t hold a charge anymore. Dyson does sell replacement batteries, though they don’t make it easy to find the model number, which is vital because different models use different batteries.

I realized that if I bought a replacement battery, I’d have to replace it again—IF they still stock the batteries by then (like I said, it’s an old model). So, I started looking into getting a different machine, specifically a Ryobi because they use the same 18v batteries my power tools use, meaning I’d have plenty of batteries to use, and the company is highly unlikely to make any changes to the shape and functioning of their batteries, given the hundreds of devices that use them.

To evaluate which model was best, I again turned to the evaluations published by Consumer NZ, and found that a model that was was well-rated, especially for pet hair, and it was also somewhat less expensive than the couple models rated somewhat higher. All of which wasn’t enough to motivate me to finally buy the vac until this week.

As soon as I got home with the new machine (photo at left), I did a quick vacuum and it works really well, even along the edges without changing tools—in fact, it did edges better than any other motorised floor attachment I’ve ever used (for at least the past 15 years or so). Reviews I read said it’s loud, but it’s not any worse than the Dyson was and is MUCH quieter than the old canister vac is. However, it’s heavy, another thing reviews mentioned. However, I use dumbbells for arm strength training, so at least vacuuming will get not get a chore done, too, so winning! Actually, my only real complaint is that it’s too easy to bump the power switch and turn it off.

What these two stories have in common is that they’re about things Nigel used to take care of for us, but that had failed, leaving me to find my own way forward. And, I did. The email server story included one of my lowest points since Nigel died, but then things got better and now are good as ever (and, I’ve also upgraded all my devices to better/faster/stronger models since Nigel died). The vacuum story was more complex because I had to work out what I thought was the best option, not essentially updating an existing thing.

There’s probably some sort of metaphor in all this, but my overall journey hasn’t been even as linear as these stories, and often not as successful. Life isn’t always neat and tidy, or it isn’t for me, anyway. But sometimes I manage to find my way through challenges like these, even as I still wish I didn’t have to. And maybe that’s the best summation of surviving grief. I really am adapting to my reality.

It’s Spring!!!

I have three favourite seasons, and they are: Summer, Spring, and Autumn, in that order. Winter can F right off, as the saying goes, and fortunately, we’re now at the point where it will start to do exactly that. It’s such a very good thing that I hardly have words to express how good it is, which is a bit of a problem for a blogger. I’ll soldier on nevertheless.

Winter was actually kind of normal, in my opinion, but it felt unusually cold, or was it just that we haven’t had a “normal” winter for a few years? I honestly don’t know, but there were plenty of folks I talked to who felt especially cold this past winter, so the perception, at least, is real.

August was probably the best month of this year’s winter, with extended periods of sunny days and milder temperatures—until the end of the month, when waves of stormy weather washed over of the country. The forecasted/expected Spring weather is that at first we’ll see more of the same, which makes sense, of course. And yeat, it IS a new season, and things will change.

Part of the reason that we had so much torrential rain (especially the top of the South Island) is that ocean to the west of New Zealand was warmer than normal, and that fuelled the torrential rains. Laready, though, the seas around the country have cooled somewhat, though they can still supercharge rainstorms, if slightly less so than in this past winter.

New Zealand had the La Niña effect for three years, which is why summmer 2022-2023 was so stormy: We had a “strong” La Niña, which led to the Auckland Anniversary Weekend floods and the devastation of Cyclone Gabrielle. The current prediction is that La Niña will continue to weaken and be neutral by summer.

Having said all that, we’re told to expect an “all of the above” Spring, with some of Winter’s horrible weather continuing, but alongside the nicer periods, too. So, yay? Nay? We’ll see.

Meanwhile, and recognising that no one controls the weather (neither the USA’s Democrats nor “Jewish Space Lasers” can do that…), I’m pushing ahead with plans for summer. Over the next couple weeks I plan to finalise my plans for what I’ll do my gardens this year (spoiler: tomatoes will return this year), and, more immediately, I’m going to clean out my VegePod and then use it as a greenhouse to start seeds to plant out in later October (which is like late April on the Northern Hemisphere). Rest assured: My gardening revolution will be blogger-ised.

So, here we are: A new season bringing warmer—eventually. But despite the fact that wintry weather will hang around for awhile, I think this is actually a really good time of year precisely because it’s a great time to prepare for better times, and that’s a great thing.

Onward!

For those who care about it, the September Equinox—the only correct name for that event, regardless of hemisphere—will arrive in New Zealand at 6:19am NZST on Tuesday, 23 September 2025. Related: At 2am the following Sunday, 28 September 2025, New Zealand will “Spring ahead” to New Zealand Dayight Time (NZDT).

The end of winter—at last

Today is the last day of winter in the Southern Hemisphere—finally. However, the past week or so has had a lot of rainy weather, and while it hasn’t been particularly cold lately, recent days have been rainy and blustery, with some very strong winds this afternoon and evening. Parts ofthe country have also received snow. September can have wintry weather, too, but that’s next month’s challenge.

August was a busy month for me, with a lot of things going on, seemingly all at once. However, that’s also meant little or no progress with the work refresh of my living space, something I talked about a month ago today. All I managed, really, was research on what I want to do and how I want it done. Unfortunately, that also included some deviations into projects that are farther down the road, in particular, I finally came up with the solution for how I want to refresh my dining table, something that’s stumped me for maybe a decade—progress? Maybe.

However, all the time challenges this month have affected everything, and that includes this blog and, in particular, the podcast I allegedly do. Over most of this year, I’ve been writing blog posts at night, usually right before I published them. Unfortunately, this month in particular—and not for the first time—I’ve been too tired in the evening to write. In fact, I’ve been more likely to fall asleep watching TV than to consider switching on my MacBook to write a post. Maybe September will have better solutions—and what’s the point of having a brand new month if not to treat it as yet another opportunity for a re-set? Eventually, that might even happen…

Still, I actually did manage to get plenty of stuff done this month, so I don’t want to make it sound like it was a total write-off—no month ever is, not even the ones in which I accomplished next to nothing. Even so, I’m hoping that tomorrow will mean the start of a very productive month. Hope—ahem—Springs eternal, right?

Nigel would’ve been 61

Today my Nigel would’ve turned 61, and to many people that would be a shoulder-shrug birthday. If Nigel was still here, it would probably be exactly that for him, but for me? It’s all about the fact that Nigel’s not here and underscored by a simple fact: I spent my own 61st Birthday moving our of the last house that Nigel and I shared.

Last year, I wrote about where I was at that at that time:

I think about him every single day, and sometimes I definitely cry, but now I’m far more likely to either be laughing, or maybe thinking about what he would do about something I’m trying to figure out, or I maybe imagine the great discussions we’d have had about the issues of the day, like, for example, he would’ve loved watching the recent Democratic National Convention and talking about it afterward. That sort of thinking makes me feel like I’m getting a warm hug.

As it happens, I’ve been thinking lately how time feels to me like time’s moving far more slowly than it really is, and that’s related to something else I’ve been thinking lately: I can feel Nigel’s presence as if he was literally with me. There are people who will take that as something along the lines of him being there with me, but since I’m completely agnostic about whether there’s an afterlife or anything else after we die, I’m a bit more circumspect. At the very least, this feeling could be because he was the most important and influential person in my adult life, or it could be because of how thoroughly our lives and selves were intertwined. And it also really could be something metaphysical, sceptical though I may be about that.

This situation, whatever it is, can be a bit comforting. I still miss him and grieve for our lost shared future, but feeling a sense of his presence, whether it’s “real” or not makes me feel a little less alone—although, Leo certainly tries to do that job, especially when someone walks a dog past his house…

I’ve often gone out for lunch with some of the family on Nigel’s birthday (and mine), but this year everyone was busy. So, instead, I made Nigel’s signature dish for my dinner, a meal I talked about last month. It was a good batch!

Overall, this year I’m feeling exactly what I was feeling on Nigel’s birthday last year:

So much has changed even since his birthday last year, and there are so many changes yet to come. Carrying him in my heart and in my memories continues to give me warmth when I’m cold, and comfort when I feel none. What we had isn’t entirely gone, it’s the foundation on which I’m slowly building whatever my future life will be, and that’s no small thing. Still, I'd much rather have him. Of course.

And, yes, of course I’d much rather be celebrating with him in person, living whatever our life would have become.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart. Always.

Previously:

Nigel would’ve been 60 (2024)
Nigel would’ve been 59 (2023)
Nigel would’ve been 58 (2022)
Nigel would’ve been 57 (2021)
Surviving the day and being okay (A 2021 post on how I handled his birthday)
We celebrated Nigel’s birthday (About the party in 2020)
It won’t be a good day (2020 – the first birthday after he died)

Special Note: I didn’t talk about Nigel’s birthday on this blog while he was alive because I wanted to protect him, and so, I didn’t share stuff that was personal to him. I talk about it now because I have no way of knowing who may run across my posts, and maybe they'll help someone else in a situation similar to mine. Besides, I love talking about the most important person in my adult life.

Fast track to waiting

Today the current NZ government announced changes it plans to make to speed up supermarket construction based on results of their official RFI (Request For Information) to the supermarket industry. The government wants to entice new retailers to increase competition in the supermarket industry. There’s still a very long way to go.

Nicola Willis’ announcement for the government is basically just another “things we’re going to do later” sort of thing, and not yet any concrete action. However, it’s nevertheless a little bit of progress. As usual, “the devil’s in the details”, but supermarkets do need an easier and faster path to build new stores, especially (or maybe only?) when that increases competition, because competition is the entire goal. So, the government plans to create a “fast track” to make it quicker and easier to bui;d supermarkets by allowing them to get consent to build faster (one year rather than 18 months), and to also allow them to use standard plans to speed up approvals and building permits.

Competition has already proven itself: When Costco opened in Auckland, it drove down prices among competitors in the area—and there were also news stories of people driving six hours to buy butter at Costco for people in their communities because the price, at the time, was about half of what the two existing supermarket chains were charging. Right now, there’s no real competition in most of the country, with the existing two supermarket chains being the only option.

Costco said not long after their store opened that they planned to expand in New Zealand, and clearly that would be a very good thing for families. However, that will do little for single person households (mine) or retired people (me again) who can’t use supersized packages of food. We need competition in the supermarket industry that includes “normal size” supermarkets, too.

Willis talked about existing companies wanting to expand, and I hope that happens, too, because in an ideal world competition should be an “all of the above” situation, not a “this or that” one. However, it matters which companies want to expand. New Zealand has a number of small grocery retailing companies, including specialists, like for meat, fruits/vegetables, or for different communities (especially South Asian and East Asian). Would limited retailers really help much when we need more general supermarkets? Also some of the existing smaller companies may be foreign-owned, for all we know, and that could be its own issue.

We know that inviting in foreign corporations will obviously result in profits being shipped overseas, but it may also make New Zealand more vulnerable to international supply chain disruptions that the existing duopoly has somewhat less exposure to because they both rely heavily on producers in New Zealand and Australia. Over-reliance on foreign (in this case meaning not “Australasian”) companies could create a whole bunch of new problems. Personally, I don’t have confidence that NZ’s current Rightwing government will put the national interest ahead of foreign corporations, but I’d be delighted for them to prove my scepticism wrong.

I also noticed that Willis said there was no participation in the RFI from Aldi or Lidl, both of whom have expanded internationally. Aldi is established in Australia (Lidl isn’t there), so one would’ve thought it’d be an easy add-on for Aldi. Why didn’t Willis’ team reach out to the companies individually when they didn’t participate in the RFI? They both would have insights into what a foreign company might need to be tempted to enter the NZ market. After all, there were no promises of anything to any companies—it was just an RFI.

Things being what they are, the most optimistic view, perhaps, is that new supermarkets from either new foreign entrants or expansion of smaller existing operators are probably three years away, maybe longer. In the meantime, we’ll have to continue paying higher prices than people in Australia or the UK. Overall, food prices in New Zealand are around 3% higher than the average paid in the OECD. That, too, won’t change any time soon.

All of which is why the government’s announcement today is good, but just another (very) small step on a journey that’s still hundreds of metaphorical kilometres from its end. We need competition to drive down supermarket prices, but, at the moment, getting that is still a very long way off, despite today’s announcement.

Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 15

Another week in 1985, and another song from a movie was top of the charts. Yay or nay? On August 24 1985, “The Power of Love” (video up top) by American rock band Huey Lewis and the News reached Number One on the USA’s Billboard “Hot 100”. It was written for the soundtrack for the movie Back to the Future, and was the band’s first Number One on the “Hot 100”.

I liked this song, and the movie it was part of—in fact, I have all three Back to the Future movies on DVD. I suppose I could equivocate and say I liked it in much the same way I liked other songs at the top of the “Hot 100”, but this at least is a song I own—through a compilation disc, but that definitely counts!

On the other hand, I don’t have any particular memories about this song, nor any special connections to it. That’s not a criticism or shortcoming in any way whatsoever, though, because that same thing is true for most pop songs most of the time in that era. Nevertheless, this song would be in the soundtrack of any Major Motion Picture set in 1985 that I made, and that’s actually no small thing.

The music video, however, is something that I think is completely unextraordinary: Despite some attempts to tie-in the movie, it’s really just a run-of-the-mill performance video, little different from so many others. This is one of the things that annoyed me the most about songs in this era: Music videos were a major thing back then, and presenting an ordinary performance video seemed lazy. Nowadays, of course, music videos aren’t the “thing” they were way back then, but in 1985 I was always disappointed when music videos didn’t innovate. Still, I’m also well aware that this sort of video was common in 1985, so I cut it some slack.

“The Power of Love” reached Number One in Australia, Canada (Gold), Number 3 in New Zealand (2x Platinum), Number 9 in the UK (Platinum), as well as Number One on the USA’s Billboard “Hot 100” and on their “Mainstream Rock” chart. The song The song was certified Gold in the USA.

The soundtrack album for Back to the Future reached Number 36 in Australia, Number 21 in Canada (Gold), Number 47 in New Zealand, Number 66 in the UK, and Number 12 on the USA’s “Billboard 200”. It was Certified Gold in the USA.

This series will return on September 7 with the Number One song for that week in 1985.

Previously in the “Weekend Diversion – 1985” series:

Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 1 – February 2, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 2 – February 16, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 3 – March 12, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 4 – March 30, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 5 – April 13, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 6 – May 11, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 7 – May 18, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 8 – June 1, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 9 – June 8, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 10 – June 22, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 11 – July 6, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 12 – July 13, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 13 – July 27, 2025
Weekend Diversion: 1985, Part 14 – August 3, 2025

Activity unknown

I mowed the lawns yesterday afternoon—yes, I still do that, and no, I seldom mention it. What made yesterday unusual was that I used my watch to measure how far I walk when mowing both the front and back lawns in one session (not including edges). It turns out, it was 2.96 kilometres (1.839259 US miles), which kind of surprised me. Even more surprising—well, shocking, actually—was that my average pace per kilometre was 8:45, *much* faster than my “personal best” (which from memory was around 10:30 per KM?). Maybe that was because the path is straight line after straight line with no obstacles? Also, since the grass hasn’t grown much with all the cold temps we’ve had in recent weeks, I could walk quickly (and, of course, I probably moved fast because I wanted it to be over…).

At any rate, all the mowing took 25:56 (depending on how thorough I am, line trimming all the edges can easily take that long, too). My average heart rate was slightly faster than a normal walking workout , but my peak rate was quite a bit faster, so clearly it was an actual workout. Which means that two or three times a month, every month, I’ve had a pretty decent workout and I never realised it. All my planned workouts this year are on top of that.

Back to the commonplace: It’s a good thing I mowed the lawns yesterday because I was busy today, and then the rains returned this evening. Some things don’t change.

A jug of reality

I bought a new electric jug this week. Why, precisely, I did that this week isn’t important, but how I went about it says every about how I’ve adapted to the life I live but never planned. A typical example of how things go these days, and how they come about.

The jug I replaced was, by the standards of such devices, quite old (the names “jug” and “kettle” are both used in New Zealand, and refer to an electric pitcher for boiling water). We bought the old jug a very long tine ago—maybe even more than 20 years ago. Some years later, though, we bought a new jug that was supposed to operate much more quietly. Then, Nigel decided we needed a device that was attached to the cold water feed because it cooled and heated the water, as well as filtering it and subjecting it to UV light to purify it. A bit much for making a cup of tea, but it’s what Nigel wanted.

When we moved into our final house together, we had the super-duper hot/cold water machine installed there, too. After Nigel died, I put the house on the market, intending to leave the super-duper machine there, but the buyer wanted it gone, so I brought it to Hamilton. I decided against having it installed at my new house because the machine is designed to be always on, and all that constant heating and cooling can be quite expensive to run. The super-duper machine is now on a shelf in the garage.

And that brings me back to the jug I just replaced. I started using it because we gave the newer quiet one away to family after we got the super-duper machine, but we still had the old one, which I’d been using to boil water to pour on weeds (to avoid using weed killer). I recently noticed that the jug was looking its age: The plastic lid was bleached at the front edge from all those years of steam, and scale was building up at the base of the fill indicator. I knew I’d need to replace it sooner rather than later, but it was an incident on Monday that sealed its fate (and I’ll spare the details).

I’d never bought an electric kettle by myself, so the first thing I had to work out was how does one decide which one is best for one’s needs? A few years ago, I joined Consumer NZ, an organisation that, among other things, evaluates various consumer products, because I knew that having reliable information would be very helpful whenever I needed to buy a new electric appliance, or whatever. In the Before Times, Nigel used to spend hours researching options, but after he died, I often felt overwhelmed doing the research, and sometimes balked because I feared making the wrong choice. Using Consumer NZ helped fix all that.

I looked at the top-rated kettles, and there was a wide range in a huge variety of price points. At first, I looked at the photos of the top-rated models, and, as always, I liked the most expensive one best—but at some $400+, it cost too much, even for me.

I then concentrated only on features, and one of them was highly rated for how quiet it is, in addition to quality and reliability—and I liked the look of it well enough Photo above). That seemed the best choice for me, but $139 seemed like an awfully high price. However, when I did a price comparison search, I found out it was on special for $69 at a NZ department store I freqently shop at. I bought it the next day.

The new jug is a lot quieter than the old one, and it even has a nice blue light when it’s on and doing its job. It was definitely the right choice for me.

The old jug will go back to its old job of boiling water for weed killing, at least until it finally boils its last. This will also mean not using my new kettle for that purpose, which is a nice bonus.

This story is typical of how these things go for me: I find I need something electric or electronic, I do my research, and make my choice. None of that is even remotely unusual, of course, nor is the fact that I rely on sites like Consumer NZ to help me make the right choice to meet my needs. However, Nigel seemed to have had a natural ability to sift through options and make a choice, and that’s not something I find easy to do, Not the least because I don’t know what his method was. However, so far, I’ve managed to make the right choice for me every time. Sure, it’s not an easy task for me, but at least I seem to be getting it right.

I smile to myself thinking about that. If he could, Nigel would say, laughing, “I taught you well,” even though he never did anything of the kind. I guess his example was enough.

Important Note: The names/photos of brands/products/companies listed in this post are registered trademarks, and are used here for purposes of description and clarity. No company or entity provided any support or payment for this blog post, and all products were purchased by me at normal consumer prices at the time of purchase. So, the opinions I expressed are my own genuinely held opinions, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of manufacturers, retailers, or any known human being, alive or dead, real or corporate. Just so we’re clear.

Photographic reality

It won’t surprise anyone that uses social media, but social media isn’t reality. There are all sorts of ways in which that’s true, but maybe the photos and videos shared are the best example of that. But, it doesn’t have to be.

I recently watched a YouTube video by a photographer who was talking about how people aren’t taking photos for the fun of it like they used to, and how so many people now only photos to reflect a sort of curated reality, what they want their life to look like to others. Put another way, rather than showing what is, they share what we want they their life to look like.

I thought the photographer’s larger point—that we should all do more creative stuff for the fun of it, that we should take photos of things that speak to us, that we thing are beautiful, that make us happy, whatever, rather than trying to present a curate version of reality. That much I totally agree with.

On the other hand, I find it hard to believe that there are any users of social media who don’t understand that folks—especially “influencers”—share things that present them and their lives in the best possible way, and may never share “real” glimpses of their “real” lives. If that’s true, then does it really matter if some peopel only share highly curated glimpses of their lives?

Naturally, this made me question myself—not a new thing for me, of course. I sometimes share photos on social media, and regardless of subject, I share the best version of that photo (and I usually take several shots of the same photo to give me options). The photos I share are real, but by no means perfect, though as a former profrssional in printing and publishing, when I look at photos I’ve shared, I often wish I’d taken the time to touch up the photo.

Selfies are harder for me, but I still don’t try to present “perfection”. Instead, instead I usually try to take a lighthearted approach, or else take a photo with Leo so his cuteness can draw the viewer’s attention. That sort of insecurity is probably the best reason why I could never be an “influencer”.

And yet, I reflected back on my photos and wondered if maybe even my photos were too “perfect”, even though they were never actually perfect. Last Friday, I decided I wanted fried eggs on toast for my brunch, and as I always do, I cracked the eggs into small ramekins so I can easily pour them into the pan (same with poached eggs). Not only is it easier, I can also change plans one or both yolks break. That happened on Friday.

When I cracked the second egg (it’s always the second egg…), the yolk broke. I put that egg into a container for the next day, cracked another egg—and that yolk broke, too. I decided to fry them anyway. The photo up top is the result, and it’s similar to the sort of photo I might’ve share if both eggs had been perfect—but I wouldn’t have shared it precisely because it wasn’t perfect. I instantly realised that, and took the photo, anyway, because no one is perfect 100% of the time, and maybe it really is better to be honest about that.

The next morning I took that egg I’d set aside, added another egg (the yolk of which didn’t break…) and made scrambled eggs because I decided I wanted a scrambled egg sandwich for my brunch, rather than eggs on toast. When I make that I put a little mustard on it and some tomato sauce (aka ketchup). Many years ago, Nigel and I started using a squeeze bottle that we could pour the canned refills into (for some reason the cans contain more than the plastic bottles the same company also sells, and our solution meant we could empty the whole can). When I opened the little cap on top, the tomoto sauce shot out the top (it was under a bit of pressure for some reason). I noticed by accident (fortunately!) that the sauce hit the kitchen ceiling (photo at right; it cleaned off easily). It struck me that it was another bit of reality that most people would never take a photo of, much less share, and that just slotted into my thinking about how reality and what we share online are often very different things.

I’m absolutely not judging people for what they share or don’t share, and since I don’t strive for perfection in the photos I share, I’m unlikely to change much, if anything. As it happens, the VAST majority of the photos I take are of things that interest me, scenes I think are pretty, or maybe things I want to remember later (like where I parked in a large and unfamiliar carpark so I can find my car later). And yet, maybe it wouldn’t hurt for us to pause and consider how “real” the photos we share really are?

In the case of the two photos in this post, they’re no more “real” than other photos I share, but they are ones I wouldn’t necessarily share were I not making a point of sharing harsh reality. Maybe “real enough” really is enough.